Daughter of the Scorned Wolf
by Ciloron
Summary: Autobiographical work of a Southern Water Tribe girl who lived in the era after Avatar Kalak's death. This is part of my Tides of Chaos collection and my entry for the Bender Challenge. Might contain M rated chapters later on.
1. Prologue

**AN: This is my entry for the Bender Challenge. It is part of the Tides of Chaos Collection.**

**Prompt #13**

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><p>Prologue:<p>

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><p>The story, so far, has been told many times, and it has been written down by many, but a lot of things remain unmentioned. I will not say that I, or I alone, know the truth, I only know my side of the story.<p>

"When did this happen?" people would ask if I wouldn't provide them with an explanation. For that reason, I've decided to add a prologue.

My part of the story begins in the time of my youth, before the people of my tribe considered me an adult. Where it ends, that I will discuss in the Epilogue I hope to finish once.

I was told that I once had a mother, but I never knew her. I was raised by my father, who was temporarily relieved of all his duties so he could devote all his time to raising me. He was both my father and mother at the same time, but it made me act less girly than the other girls of the tribe.

He tried his best, though, and we grew close.

My father taught me all he knew, and what he left out, Kaya, the chief's wife, taught me.

I became the person I am, because of how those two raised me.

All I write down is the truth, from my perspective. I have tried to be honest about myself and about my people, like I've been honest about the other nations.

When I write, I know not if I will ever be able to finish this; I know only that I will write, until I die, or death finds me.


	2. Thoughts about my mother

**Prompt # 37**

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><p>Thoughts about my mother:<p>

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><p>My mother, I never knew her. She was a secret to me, a riddle to solve.<p>

I grew up with the idea that I never had a mother, but I always had doubts about it.

I wasn't crazy, I saw that all other children had a mother. I only had a father, who I thought to be the equivalent of a mother at first, until I discovered that the other children had fathers too. When I discovered that, I was a little child back then, I started asking questions.

I asked my father first.

"Why don't I have a mother, father?" I asked.

I was never given an answer, and I never asked him about my mother again.

Now, I understand why he didn't want to answer the question I asked. He still loved my mother at that time, but his love for her hadn't been enough to stop her from taking her own life.

Do I blame my mother for never having been there for me? I find it hard to answer that question.

One part of me had wished she would have seen me grow up, but what kind of a mother would she have been to me, being a mentally unstable person? What kind of person would I have become, if she had raised me?

Those are questions I'll never be able to answer. The only thing I know for sure is:

I wouldn't have been the same woman I am today.


	3. Thoughts about my father

**Prompt #38**

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><p>Thoughts about my father:<p>

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><p>I named my father many names, besides father: paragon, teacher, champion, captain, scorned wolf and hero.<p>

He was my paragon and champion when I was young. He taught me all he knew; basic life skill primarily, but he also taught me in the Southern Water Tribe military doctrine. He was my teacher; l learnt how to hunt, how to make a tent or an igloo, and how to do advanced water bending moves.

I followed him in everything he did, he was my example, my paragon. Whenever he was angry, I was angry, whenever he would be happy, I'd be happy. I didn't develop my own sense of good and evil, I copied it by watching my father react to certain things. I sometimes wonder why I turned out to be such a different person, compared to my father.

My father remained the biggest influence in my early life, until I became an adult.

When I turned twelve, my father started talking to me about marriage. He had struck a deal with the chief of the Southern Water Tribe, who was my father's friend, even though he was but a captain. I now know why my father was the chief's friend, but I didn't know it back then, I just took it for granted.

My father had struck a deal with the chief, I would be to marry his youngest son. The prince wasn't ready, however, so the chief and my father put it to rest, for a while.

By that time, I was my father.

When I turned thirteen, my life changed, because the relationship I had with my father changed. War had been declared on the Earth Kingdom, and he would be leading the first charge. I remember how afflicted I had been when he left on his own ship.

My father was a captain in the Southern Fleet, but because of his friendship with the chief, he had been given the honor to be the first to land on the Earth Kingdom shores. He had told me briefly, before he went on board. His mission was to take a little village called Hia-Pao, I didn't understand the village's significance until much later.

From that point, I called my father captain. He was far away and I missed him, so I didn't want to use those nostalgic names anymore, because that only made me feel worse when I talked about him. I called him warrior too, sometimes, but captain seemed more appropriate to me.

By leaving, my father taught me a valuable lesson. He taught me that life wasn't always a joyful experience; he taught me that life could be full of pain. I realized that my father had experienced painful moments to, it had become evident when I asked him about my mother.

My father leaving turned out to be the best thing to ever have happened to me. It turned my life around, because I started to learn on my own.

I did long for things to return to normal again, even though I was learning a lot on my own. Because I missed him so much, I eventually followed him to the Earth Kingdom, escorted by the chief's son, who needed to deliver a message to his father, who was commanding the armies in the southern Earth Kingdom.

When I left the South Pole, I was like I had been before my father left, I only had become more knowledgeable.

Now, I'm different, because I changed over the course of the journey that followed, after I left the South Pole.

When I left, I was like my father. I was lacking in empathy, I was selfish, I was a sexual predator.

If I look at myself now, I don't resemble my father anymore. I've learnt to empathize with others, I've learnt to put the needs of others before my own and, I've learnt to deal with my desires. I don't think I've lost my ways entirely, I'm still a lustful woman, but over the course of my journey, I found out that there were more important things in life, like affection.

The reason for writing this down is not that I hate my father, I am thankful for everything he taught me. I am thankful for everything he did to me. He hasn't been the best of fathers, but he tried.

I write this just to point out that I am not my father.


	4. The Earth Kingdom

**Prompt #3**

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><p>The Earth Kingdom:<p>

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><p>I knew little about the Earth Kingdom before I visited the nation, escorted by the chief's youngest son himself. Throughout the journey from Qaanqa to the shores of the southern Earth Kingdom, I kept fantasizing about the prince, especially when the climate started to change from harsh and cold, to soft and temperate.<p>

The prince walked around ships scarcely clad, wearing short trousers only. I did not mind, and when I think back of it, I still do not mind.

What I felt for the prince at that moment, could hardly be described as love. I was lustful, I desired him, but I did not feel 'in love' when I spend time around him. It did not harbor affection for him either, I only felt affection towards my father. My father, in turn, only felt affection for me, as his one true love had taken herself away from him.

The affection for my father is what brought me to the Earth Kingdom, the fact that the prince went with me was purely incidental and not the other way around, like some people claim nowadays.

What I knew about the Earth Kingdom were things my father had told me. He told me that the people of the Earth Kingdom didn't differ much from the people from the tribes, except that they were more unhealthy and a bit strict when it came to social life and social structure. This turned out to be the truth, once I started journeying through the Earth Kingdom myself.

Other things my father told me where that the people of the Earth Kingdom were full of hate to all outsiders, but ignorant at the same time. He told me that they saw themselves as superior to all other nations.

In my journeys, this proved to be a false statement, even though my father was partially right when it came to ignorance and feelings of superiority. Most of the Earth Kingdom citizens were living in their own, small world, one which hardly reached the borders of the province in which they lived. You could call this ignorance, I call it being blissfully unaware of what lies beyond the borders.

Why do I call it that way?

The citizens of the Earth Kingdom minded their own business, but helped anyone who needed their help. I would have called their blissful unawareness ignorance, had they been meddling with affairs that didn't concern them. They wouldn't have been able to know what was going on, therefor they would qualify for being ignorant. They didn't do such things, however, and so I disagree with my father on that point.

I found out that my father was in the wrong too when it came to the feeling of superiority the Earth Kingdom citizens would have harbored. All of them thought, allegedly, that the Earth Kingdom was vastly superior to the Confederacy of Water Tribes. Now I come to think of it, it might have been the other way around.

I only heard Earth Kingdom citizens brag about their country, when I asked them why they weren't cooperating with the invading forces (read, the forces of the water tribes). I don't think that has something to do with feelings of superiority, those citizens were well-aware that they were on the losing side, I think it has to do with a healthy love for you own nation.

That is how I think, nowadays, but not when I set foot on Earth Kingdom soil for the first time in my life.

Whilst the prince was off to talk with his father, the chief of the Southern Water Tribe at that time, I spent time watching the soldiers in the army camp. Some were sparring, others were cooking and some were even cleaning themselves in full sight. I don't regret looking around and absorbing everything I saw.

What I remember from that brief moment I was in that army camp, was how my people treated a prisoner of war. It was a young fisherman, who had been the first Earth Kingdom citizen to be taken captive in the war. My father encountered the man on sea and took him captive.

The way the men treated him felt normal to me at that time, only know I realize how horrible it must have been for the poor man.

He had been beaten, kicked, mutilated, defiled and dishonored and eventually killed; they killed him when I left the camp.

I'm still taken aback by how the man accepted everything that was happening to him, how he never screamed or complained. The soldiers joked that the prisoner liked what they were doing to him, but I know they knew what was going on.

I will conclude this part with a statement that has been made ages ago, but still is, and always will be applicable to the citizens of the Earth Kingdom:

They are as strong as stone.


	5. The South Sea

**Prompt #4**

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><p>The South Sea:<p>

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><p>I spent many nights with the prince from that moment on, because I refused to sleep where the sailors slept. I slept in the prince's bed, together with the prince, though he made no advances towards me. I asked him, a while ago, why he never did.<p>

"That wouldn't have been chivalrous," he answered.

Whilst he was sleeping, I would often try to peek beneath the blankets, to see what treasures he was hiding from me, but the darkness prevented me from seeing anything at all. I had to keep to my fantasies, who were becoming increasingly intense.

Mind you, I'm not talking about love, only lust.

At some point, I couldn't hold out longer, I had to escape to the upper deck to calm down, otherwise I would have exploited the situation we were in. I wonder that, if I had done that, my relation with the prince would be the same is it is at this very moment.

Some men say, my father is among those men, that it wouldn't have made a difference. They say that the prince wouldn't have minded, according to them, I would have made the nights rather enjoyable for him. I will address this point in a later chapter, if I'm still alive at that point.

I found myself on the upper deck one night. At that moment, the first peaks of mountains that were within Air Nomad territory appeared on the horizon.

The air around me felt warm at that time, even though it was in the middle of the night and I had wrestled myself free from a warm, cozy embrace. It was because of that embrace, I fled upstairs, to cool down.

Coolness was nowhere to be found, but the warmth I experienced on deck was soothing, instead of frightening. It didn't make me run off, it made me stay.

I looked at the mountains in the far distance and realized I knew nothing of the people who lived there. I only knew that they had been able to destroy an entire fleet, by only landing a single punch.

The air turned cold as my heart grew uncomfortable, I hurried back inside, towards the warm embrace of a sleeping prince. He probably doesn't know that he had been embracing me that night and that is probably for the better, he would feel embarrassed about it. Besides, it wasn't the only thing I've never told him.

I never told him how I carefully caressed his body, almost in its entirety. I've never told him how I sometimes purposefully rested my head on his chest to fall asleep. The next morning, I would say that it must have happened during the night. He always believed me on my word, so telling him that I toss around a lot during the night was enough to convince him. It wasn't a complete lie…


	6. Tenang Peak

**Prompt #5**

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><p>Tenang Peak:<p>

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><p>We made a stop to visit one of the most well-known mountain peaks in the world, Tenang Peak. It was a strange experience, walking upon grounds that belonged to people I had never even seen or heard about.<p>

My father had told me nothing about the Air Nomads, I only knew they held air bison and used them for transportation.

Perhaps, visiting Tenang Peak would have impressed me more had I had the knowledge of Air Nomads I possess nowadays.

I've learned a lot since that day, I read and listened.

I learnt that they were hospitable to anyone, as long as you didn't have the intention to kill them. They would even take enemies in, who had been wounded, and care for them, till they had recovered. Compassion drives them, which is something to be jealous about.

They will strike back, if you don't give them another option. They will try to run, but if they know that will be futile, they will fight, sometimes with deadly efficiency. They live through non-violence, but that doesn't mean they can't fight.

They favor evasion above confrontation, which explains why they live high up in the mountains, far from the rest of the world. There, they do not need to confront the rest of the world, there they can be at peace.

That is what I think about it, I have no knowledge of the Air Nomad scriptures, so there might be different reasons for them to live high in the mountains, in total seclusion.

I wouldn't be able to live away from the world, not for the entirety of my life. I know now that Air Nomads do travel around, along ancient routes, but some monks never leave the temple they've grown up at. Avatar Tinley would be a good example, he hardly left the Northern Air Temple.

Avatar Tinley, who is still seen as a wise, but inactive Avatar, left the Northern Air Temple on a few occasions. First of all, he left to resolve a minor insurgency in the still unstable outreaches of the Fire Nation archipelago. The second time he left, was to attend the anointment of a new master, by the name of Tseten, who would teach Tinley's successor after Tinley died ten years later, thirty-one years before the birth of Avatar Kukuh.

The third and last time Tinley left was to meet with all the Elder Councils of all temples. He travelled to all Air Temples and when he returned to his home, he died naturally.

The man wrote a lot, he must have, since he had so much time on his hands.

Something in me admires the man, for his restraint and for being able to stay in isolation without turning mad. It is strange, for an Avatar to leave his home so little, but it is admirable at the same time. He had so much authority that he didn't even needed to leave his home to resolve conflicts. By the sound of his words, it is rumored Tinley was a loud talker, people laid down their weapons and lived in peace.

I sometimes wish I would have that authority and wisdom over me.


	7. The Central Water Tribe

**Prompt #16**

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><p>The Central Water Tribe<p>

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><p>The Central Water Tribe, with its many marshes and the great swamp in its territory, was known territory. I had never been there, but still, it was familiar. I knew about Central Water Tribe culture, I knew its geography and their speech.<p>

My father never spoke highly of them, but he talked about them a lot. By the time I and the prince got to Ron'qen, the capital of the Central Water Tribe, I still believed everything my father had told me.

The people of the Central Water Tribe were halfwits, they favored arts over battle and they disrespected the rituals and ways of the past. My father adhered to these traditional ways and so, he disgusted those who did not.

Because the people of the Central Water Tribe did not hold tradition as high as my father, he considered them inferior to those who did.

The first person to meet in person was the chief of the Central Water Tribe himself, who wanted to meet up with the prince who had brought me to the tribe.

His name was Ghanak, the Younger, and he turned out to be one of the persons who changed my vision on the world.

Ghanak succeeded his father, years before the war started, Ghanak the Elder. Ghanak had trouble getting out of his father's shadow; that, combined with the loss of his father, made him turn to alcohol.

Nevertheless, he was an amiable person and I felt safe around him, even though the first time he, the prince and I shared dinner was everything but a success.

He was handsome too, but he did not enter in long term relationships, from what I've heard. Had he not been that old, he could have been my type.

One night, he spoke to me about how I thought and felt about the prince. That night turned out to be one of the most important nights of my life. He changed the way I thought about someone who I had thought of as a prey, whilst I, even though I knew, loved that person.

He showed me how faulty my thinking was, and he warned me how I would turn out if I went through with how I was acting.

From that moment, I didn't only view the person I loved in another light, the entire world around me became brighter. I started to notice how wrong my father had been about the Central Water Tribe. It wasn't a place where half-wits and inferior people lived, the people of Ron'qen turned out to be wise people, and nice to be around.

They were all very educated and they were great discussion partners, because of the extensive knowledge they had. They never judged anyone who knew less, instead they taught those who didn't know, what they didn't know.

I forgot about finding my father for a while, since that was still my mission. I hadn't gone to the Central Water Tribe, had my father not ventured there. Unfortunately, my father was gone once I got to Ron'qen, he had left on a mission into the woods to the far east.

Instead of thinking about my father, I walked around the streets of Ron'qen, alone, or with the prince of the Southern Water Tribe.

Those were good days, days I still look back at with happy memories.

Those days were also the prelude to things I couldn't have imagined when I left the South Pole; the horrors I would see, the atrocities I would commit, but also the joy I would experience.

In general, the trip to Ron'qen changed my life.


End file.
